MEET THE CHARACTERS

CAROL

A mystery girl who appears from nowhere. Who is she?

MARK

A young law student with secrets, Mark is the son of an accountant, who has received a very conventional education at an independent school. A nervous student, ruled by an irrational fear of people, he is an easy victim for the school bully. After failing to get into university, he ends up studying law at the Liverpool College of Commerce. He wants a girl friend – perhaps someone just like Fiona. He realises he has to completely change his personality if he is to succeed in life and in love, but how? Fear of people leads to a terror of being afraid of people and an even greater fear of being afraid. Fear, fear of fear and thoughts of Fiona are the driving forces which lead to some amusing, exciting, and sometimes extraordinary and absurd madcap adventures, both socially and underground. And Fiona- she seems unattainable, but is she?

FIONA

Fiona loves horses and competitive sports like tennis and squash. She sees college or university as a kind of finishing school and is devoted to her childhood boy friend who is at a university in Scotland. She likes to be the centre of attention and gets involved in student politics. She also likes to surround herself with male admirers - provided they’re safe and no threat to her love for her absent boyfriend. She finds Mark boring and unattractive at first, but is he?

PABLO

Pablo is an apprentice. A tough young working man, he enjoys hard outdoor sports like climbing and caving. He does hard physical work and despises students as being far too soft. Can Mark belong to his potholing club and win his respect?

BOB

Bob is the son of a doctor and of the doctor’s secretary. His father has a surgery in one of the roughest parts of Leeds. So although from a wealthy professional background, Bob has seen deprivation and doesn’t like to see people suffer.

He likes motorbikes, and hard physical exercise like rugger and potholing. He also likes a good social life and has such a good time at his first year at medical school that he fails his exams, and ends up studying sociology in Mark’s college. He becomes a socialist, and is proud to live in a student house in the middle of Liverpool’s dockland.

He is certainly not the marrying kind, but can he have so much fun with one girlfriend without getting emotionally involved?

PAUL

Paul is Bob’s friend. He is studying for a degree in sociology, rides a motorbike and chews gum, He would prefer a pint to a dance with a girl any time. But is he really so uninterested in girls?

SUSAN

Susan is Fiona’s friend. She shares Fiona’s passion for horses, and likes outdoor pursuits. Confident of her own beauty she has no wish to waste time studying, when she could be earning real money as a secretary. Sooner or later a rich young man will come along and sweep her off her feet, and she’ll be set up for life. In the meantime she’ll have fun, and  - variety is the spice of life – she’ll have plenty of lovers and boy friends without being tied to any of them. Then she meets Bob, who also believes in free love. They become kindred spirits who enjoy each other’s company and play well together. So can they bring their relationship to an end before it gets too serious?

JUDGE JOLLY

The judge is at the top of his profession. He has a wayward son and a daughter who wants to become a pop star. What is the world coming to? Then in court, he comes face to face with a young man in the dock who reminds him of his son.

JOHN CONKERTON

John Conkerton is the only true character in the story. He runs a nationally renowned law school at the College of Commerce. He does 6 month cramming courses to get articled clerks and law students through the dreaded Part II Law Society professional exams (since replaced by an easier test after a longer and more expensive course). He makes a brief appearance, and an attempt is made to reproduce the famous pep-talk he used to give to students at the beginning of each course. Many solicitors who qualified in the 60’s and 70’s have him to thank for their careers.

 DR. FORTUNE

A zany psychiatrist who believes it is not possible to cure his patients, but only to help them. His favourite way of helping them is to adjust the level of the drugs he prescribes. But what can he do when the patient refuses his medication, and starts on a terrifying series of death defying adventures underground? Could he be blamed if something goes wrong? Oh for a quiet life and drugs!